Birthmothers Of N.H.

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My love for Anthony

Here is my adoption story,I was 18 years old facing a  unplanned pregnancy. I was living in Spokane Washington at the time. I had just graduated from high school. I knew at that time in my life I wasn't ready to be a parent  but in my heart I was. I moved to N.H. to reside with my Father and stepmom. I knew  at that time  I was to young to parent my child. So I chose Adoption,Abortion wasn't a option for me. To be honest  all the decisions  I had were not easy choices. I chose an Agency  where I felt like I belonged. Even though I felt lost a million  miles away. I chose the parents for Anthony,that was one decision I was going to make. I didn't want to be forgotten as a Birth mom. I met the parents twice. Once when I was 5 months pregnant. That was scary  I was worried they wouldn't like me. I am sure they felt the same,they are very nice people. But why did I  choose them? Well one reason  I knew they had been married for 10 solid years,and they were very kind,and the dad was adopted himself. So I knew as Anthony grew up, when he would ask questions like where he came from and if he if grew in his Mom's belly that the Dad would be able to answer the questions on how it feels to be Adopted.So that is why I chose them as my son parents. We also met when Anthony was about a day old at the Hospital. They brought me flowers which was very kind of them. Anthony turned 25 years old on May 11,2015 this year. The parents sent me pictures and letters for 21 years, which they didn't have to continue to do. I was grateful that they chose to do that for me. The agreement we had was that they send pictures and letters twice a year. I was able to chose when,I chose May and December every year. So I received letters and pictures his Birthday  month and Christmas every year for 21 years. I count my blessings that I was able to see pictures of him growing up. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of him.He is part of who I am. Over the years ,one thing that I carry with me is something the Adoptive Mother said to me in a note. I still have that note and what it says is, every time we hug and kiss the baby,you are silently thanked. That has touched me for ever. I will never ever forget that. I never experience true love till Anthony was born. He was my first born and will always be part of my life even if he doesn't want to be part of mine. I can only hope and dream that he will want to be part of our family some day. I sit here and write this patiently ,to be honest I really thought when Anthony turned  18 years old that we would of been reunited  with each other. I guess I have to be a little more patient. I know it will happen  but the wait is so hard,We do have two other children, a 23 year old daughter Tricia and she has 3 children of her own,They are ,9.4. 1. And we have a 14 year old son named Matthew. I married my Best friend ,we been together  for 17 years, but we have been married for 10 years. We do have a lot of family around ,my parents are healthy and well. Can't wait to meet there oldest Grandson. I  have one sibling, a brother, maybe Anthony will meet some day. Till we meet again,I haven't seen Anthony  since he was 5 days old Hugs Tracy.

Anthony and I 26 years ago at Birth.

Anthony and his Girfriend 26 years later.